22 June Entry

I’m not gonna let the evil one use my feelings to drag me into self-pity, stopping me from being blessings to others and most of all stopping me from being satisfied in God.

Why being depressed over one thing , turning a blind eye to the fact that infact you have so many people around you who love and care about you a great deal.

A small man expects a great deal of others
A big man expects a great deal out of himself

I feel joy that even when I’m in fear but when I look into the eyes of a sister in Christ, I see a look in her face saying “I know you’re scared, be strong”

Also joy when another sister in Christ puts a lot of *obvious* effort in listening to my unending rambles, when she’s not even a listener type, just because she really misses having me around.

Every small gesture, offer of help, or even a simple how are you and remembering one piece of small detail about me to strike a conversation. It’s already much more than I deserve.

Joy from knowing that my life is not all about me an myself because as selfish as it might have been, it would be a totally meaningless life.

Joy to finally learn what it feels like to be sincerely grateful to God.

knowing that having all these thoughts are not something inborn, something I read from books, or that I somehow conjured up in my head but to know that it’s truly by God’s grace alone

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