Dear Lord,
It is now 1 hour to a brand new year, year 2012. The year when I would turn 26. Finally got through a quarter century of my life. I should be an adult right now.
I know I would have a million things to do, with my friends, with the crowd, with all the fireworks and the countdowns, the screaming, the hugging, the company and just not being alone. But here I am God, I’ve spent many many years of new year’s eve like that. I am now before You. Alone with You. And wanting to talk to You. Because what I need to face a new year, is not escaping the reality of guilt, failures, incompetence, hurt, pain, loneliness, and ultimately my own sinfulness with celebrations, distractions and self deception. What I truly need, God, is learning to accept myself because You have first accepted me. What I truly need, is knowing that I am Yours and You are with me, and will be with me. I need God. Not just the comfort, the achievements of having God, not just the strength that comes with having God. But it is You, whom my heart hungers over, yearns over and it will never ever find its rest, if not in You.
